Stoner jokes are simply legendary! Whether it's deeply relaxed puns or completely bonkers logic - this humour hits the spot. So if you're looking for a good laugh, you've come to the right place!

We've put together the 25 best stoner jokes for you. Perfect for partying with friends or just chilling out yourself. Have fun! 😄

1.

Stoner stands at the ATM.
Enters his PIN.
Stares at the screen.
After 30 seconds, he thinks: "Wait... what was I doing here again?"

2.

Stoner in the supermarket:
"I'm just going to get some crisps!"
Two hours later, he comes out with a shopping trolley full of snacks.
Without crisps.

3.

Why do stoners always talk so slowly?
Because after every sentence they have to think about whether they really said the sentence before.

4.

Stoner orders food.
An hour later, the doorbell rings.
Stoner: "Bro, I didn't order anything..."
Deliverer: "It's here: Large pizza, extra cheese."
Stoner: "Oh my God, the past-I'm a genius!"

5.

Why are stoners so good at relaxing?
Because they simply forget their problems before they have to solve them.

6.

Stoner watches a film.
After 10 minutes: "Wow, great film... But what's it about?"
Starts it again.
After 10 minutes: "Wow, great film... But what's it about?"

7.

Why are stoners such bad secret-keepers?
Because they forget before they can tell anyone else.

8.

Stoner sends a voice message:
"Bro, I just wanted to tell you that... um... wait... uh... fuck, what was I going to say?"

9.

Why are stoners so slow at writing messages?
Because they think about whether it was the right one after every word.

10.

Stoner looks at mobile phone: 18:00
"Okay, five more minutes of TikTok."
Looks at mobile phone again: 23:47
"Damn."

11.

Why can't stoners multitask?
Because they forget they're watching a film while eating.

12.

Stoner calls his mate:
"Bro, I'm too high, I can't get up."
Mate: "Digga, you're standing in front of the mirror."
Stoner: "Wait... WAAAAAS?!"

13.

Why are stoners bad burglars?
Because they forget what they wanted to steal after five minutes and look for food in the fridge instead.

14.

Stoner wants to take a shower.
Leaves the water on.
Undresses.
Checks his mobile phone briefly.
Three hours later: Still naked on the bed, bath water long since cold.

15.

Stoner looks at his fridge.
Closes the door.
Opens it again five seconds later.
Maybe something has changed.

16.

Why are stoners bad drivers?
Because they ask themselves in the middle of the road: "Am I actually driving or am I standing?"

17.

Stoner tries to remember a really good thought.
Thinks hard.
Only remembers that it was a really good thought.

18.

Why are stoners online on WhatsApp for so long?
Because they spend 30 minutes thinking about whether "haha" is enough of an answer.

19.

Stoner sits on the sofa, wants to watch something on TV.
Can't find the remote control.
After 30 minutes of desperate searching, he gives up.
Sits there sadly.
Sees that the remote control was in his hand the whole time.

20.

Why do stoners constantly forget what they wanted to say?
Because their thoughts arrive more slowly than their mouths.

21.

Stoner goes into the bathroom.
Staring into space.
After five minutes, he asks himself: "Why am I here?"

22.

Why do stoners never write down their ideas?
Because they're in the middle of it, but then forget that they wanted to do it.

23.

Stoner calls the pizza delivery service.
"Hey, I'd like a pizza."
Employee: "With what on it?"
Five minutes of silence.
Stoner: "Brother, I'm overwhelmed."

24.

Stoner tries to plug his charging cable into his mobile phone.
After ten seconds, he realises:
He's holding the cable in one hand and the mobile phone in the other - and is trying to charge his lighter.

25.

Stoner checks his messages.
Scrolls up.
Scrolls down.
After five minutes, he puts the mobile phone away... without having answered a message.

Whether you smoke weed yourself or just like a bit of light-hearted humour - stoner jokes make everyone laugh. So share the best jokes with your friends and create a good atmosphere. Do you have another brilliant joke in store? Then share it in the comments! 😎🔥